Friday, August 03, 2012

Wisdom on Wheels: Relationships


Dear Friends,
I feel I must apologize for taking so long to write this.  I have been very excited and yet hesitant to share this entry.  Oh well, here goes nothing.  My parents have raised me to be marriage minded.  As I have grown up we have returned to the topic many times.  Unlike most guys, I’ve often thought about my wedding and also taken metal notes for future use as the Lord Wills.

My Dad always told me to get my education and establish my life direction before pursuing romance and marriage.  I always wanted to marry young like my parents, so waiting was hard.  In my early twenties I once asked my Mom when I would know it was a good time to start seriously thinking about marriage.  Her response?  “When all your friends start getting married.” This is not by any means a sole factor, but interestingly enough, it seems that these days my friends younger siblings are getting married in droves.

Before I go any further, let me be clear.  I’m not saying it is a bad thing to wait on God or that it is a bad thing to be single.  I firmly believe that we should seek God in ALL we do, this area being not only included, but perhaps most important. “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:10)  I simply believe that I (along with the majority of men) was created to need a helpmeet

I have many friends who are girls and to put it quite simply, without their presence my life would be boring and colorless.  I am so thankful for many young ladies in my life.  It seems to me however that whenever I express interest in a young lady an interest that goes beyond friendship, she turns and runs the other way as fast as she can.  Now perhaps I am overstating things ever so slightly, but quite frankly, it hurts.
I know that marrying will be a challenge for me and my bride, but nothing in my life has come easy.  I often feel like a good motto for my life would be “Working twice as hard to prove that I am just as good,” I feel much the same way in my quest for a life partner.  I just want a chance to prove myself in this area as with so many others.

I am not perfect.  I have flaws.  But I am also a godly man seeking righteousness.  I have been taught by my father what it means to be a Family Shepherd.  I have by word and example been taught to value children and the truth “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.” (Ephesians 5:25-26)  I look forward to having a godly young lady to love and cherish for life! :)  I believe she will be an amazing asset to Speaking4Him.

This issue transcends romantic relationships though.  I’ve also faced challenges in regular day to day interactions with friends and co-workers as well.  It is never easy and it is hard and down right frustrating at times.  So why is this?, and (perhaps more importantly) what can we do about it?

I believe the main reason for this is fear of the unknown.  I believe that some may think it is easier to distance themselves from me than to be honest with me about their discomforts relating to my disability.  Sadly I have experienced at least one definite case of this in a work setting and it was heartbreaking.  Honesty is a much better option.  Plus I am as open about my challenges as anyone you’ll ever meet. 
So if you have a question or something about my disability makes you uncomfortable, be honest with me.  Honest questions will always result in honest answers.  What’s more, we’ll both be better for it and we might be lifelong friends!

I am very thankful for those who have been faithful friends and family and seen beyond my wheelchair to the man that God is molding in His time.  God is so good!  He knows what He is doing and I can trust Him.  In closing, just know that my accomplishments in life have not come about because I ignored the “Brick Walls” my challenges created.  That would have just led to a bloody nose. Rather my accomplishments have come because for every “Brick Wall” I have faced I have found sufficient “Rope” to climb over each one and overcome to the Glory of God.                    
   
Speaking4Him,
Andrew Gommesen

1 comment:

Miriam said...

This is a great post Andrew! You are completely right and it always helps to hear this kind of encouragement from someone else who is also dealing with the same stuff you are yourself. I like the brick wall analogy with the rope to climb over, that's awesome and I definitely will be using it. Thanks! Good luck on your quest to find a wife! She is out there as you know. Though it may seem hopeless at times, God knew what you were going to be facing before you were born and he knew how to create the perfect helpmeet for you as He did for me. I too am waiting and searching, but I have hope, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My God is so big and so loving that I cannot imagine that He would have either of us be single the rest of our lives.