Chapter 1

Chapter 1
God’s Appointed Leader

The familiar phrase “Anything you can do I can do better” if not directly spoken, is implied in every facet of life as it pertains to the battle of the sexes. Woman today are bombarded with the message that they don’t need men and that they are capable of doing anything that a man can do and even surpass his capabilities. They are told that men fall into one of two categories:
1) Stupid pushover
2) Domineering hothead
I wish I could say that these were just stereotypes—with no basis in reality—but I can’t. Manhood today is a far cry from what it once was. There was a time when a man was duty bound to protect and provide for the women in his life, first of all for his wife, but ultimately for any woman in need or distress.
Somewhere along the line however we have failed to protect our families and woman have been pressured to compensate for this lack of leadership. As a result, women no longer feel the need to be protected by men. Some even take it as an insult when you allow them to precede you out of a room or if you stop to open the door for them, or at least give you strange looks when you do so.
Today’s women are very career oriented and are often complaining about not getting the same wages or opportunities as men. Where women were once content to be homemakers and raise children and allow their husbands to serve as the sole breadwinner for his home, now two-income households are typical, children seem to be an afterthought, and in some instances (when the wife makes more money) it is the husband who stays home with the kids. The church is not much different than the world in this regard. The results of this role reversal are sad at best.
Rather than embracing their God-given roles as the keepers of the home and the primary care takers of their children, many of them feel the need to work outside the home. They have bought into the lie propagated by the modern feminist movement that a woman needs a career to find fulfillment in life. As a result children are often an afterthought.
When they do come along, they spend some of the most impressionable years cared by someone other than mom. Families then become segmented. No longer one cohesive unit, they are merely individuals who happen to live under the same roof. This leads to many problems. A major result is the rise of the broken home. It is quite significant to note that the divorce rate in the church is not all that different from that of the world.
There are many reasons given for this societal shift. They range from the economical (“We could never make it on one income!”) to the cultural (“Times have changed”) I believe the real reason goes far deeper than that.
The fact of the matter is that we as men have failed to fulfill our God-given role within the family. God has set the man over the woman and has given him specific instruction to care for his own. “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” (I Timothy 5:8)
There are two main ways in which men today fail to fulfill God’s mandate for leadership. Some take a domineering “my way or the highway” approach to leadership within their family. They alienate their family because they care only about their own agenda with little or no regard for how it will affect their family. The modern feminist movement would have us believe that all males who display leadership are vindictive in nature.
I believe that a far greater problem in men today is the “stupid push-over” mentality. We are afraid to assume the God-given role as leaders in our homes and in our communities. The world tells us to focus on personal material success. A popular motto for the world today is “Looking out for number 1”. Ad campaigns are constantly telling us that bigger is better. Bigger income, bigger house, bigger cars, you name it. Climbing the ladder of success is what is most important and it doesn’t matter what it costs.
We as Christians have a higher calling. We are called to be different. “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light; Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God:” (I Peter 2:8-9) The people of God! What a sobering thought! Christians have a mandate from above to fulfill His purpose on earth.
Unfortunately the line between the world and the church has become increasingly blurred. Rather than being concerned with distancing themselves from the world and paying whatever price such a stand would cost, Christians today often seem content to follow the blueprint presented by the culture, with very little consideration for how it will affect others in their life or society as a whole. Nowhere is this more evident or more tragic than in the failure of men and women to understand, appreciate, and embrace their God-given roles.
God calls men to take leadership for the protection and preservation of women. It is not meant to hinder, but to heighten her potential. It is a gift, not the curse it is made out to be.
In order to embrace our roles as leaders, we must seek to understand—really understand—why God gave men this awesome responsibility. Let’s start at the beginning. We have already established the fact that the woman was given to the man as a helpmeet. The Hebrew word is ezer {ay'-zer} which literally means “one who helps[i]” God ordained women as helping hands for their husbands. This is supposed to be a blessing to both the man and his wife.
Sadly the feminist movement has convinced women (even in the church) that it’s not good enough to work “behind the scenes.” They would have women believe that if you can’t lead you can’t do anything. There is perhaps no greater lie in the world. In many cases the successes of those we see are made possible only by the hard work of many we don’t see.
Consider the following examples:
· In sports the athlete gets most of the praise but owes much of his success to his coaches and personal trainers.
· When it comes to moviemaking, the actress might be the best ever, but a lot of credit goes to her writers, the director, the camera crew, and a myriad of others who never make it on camera.
In the same way, the wife has the extreme privilege of helping her husband and family. In many ways she is the key component of his success. Being “behind the scenes” doesn’t make her less important. She is very important. She doesn’t need to go elsewhere for fulfillment.
The most important thing to remember is that God has a plan. He knew what he was doing. Sadly, many of us have dismissed much of what the Bible says on the family as obsolete and not culturally relevant. I think our society is reaping the consequences of this flippant attitude.
God is very clear. “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor. 11:3) Every facet of our society cries out for male leadership. We must wake up and realize how serious this issue is.
In the workforce, it is important that men are willing to work and free their wives up to fulfill the all-important task of being “discreet, chaste keepers at home.” (Titus 2:5) Women in the workforce take on twice the load that they should. This causes a great deal of undue stress.
The responsibilities of a wife and mother are at odds with those of an employee. One has to suffer from a lack of quality time. Unfortunately it seems that ‘wife’ and ‘mother’ are the roles that suffer most. Women in the workforce have also contributed to the break-up of more than a few marriages.
At home, a mother needs to know that her husband will lead in the discipline and spiritual training of the children. Fathers are commanded to “provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4) She also needs to know that her husband will lead her. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.” (Eph. 5:25-26)
In the Church, God clearly has established men as the leaders. “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” (2 Timothy 2:11-13)
As we seek to fulfill this duty, there are some things that we would do well to keep in mind. Service to God and others is most important. Real family leadership involves looking out for the interests of those in your care. “But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.
But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45)
Jesus, the greatest leader the world has ever known, came to serve us! If the only man who had the right to lord himself over us chose not to, we must be careful not to allow our responsibility to inflate our egos. It is Christ who made entrusted us with this duty. With out him, we can do nothing.
A leader must be willing to do all that he asks of his followers. Everything that Jesus has asked us to do he has already shown us by example. That leads me to a question which I believe every man should ask himself as he seeks to lead his family. The question is “Am I living my life in such a way that I can say with Paul “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ?” (2 Cor. 11:1)
I would like to address one more prevalent aspect of this issue. I am sure that some who are reading this may say that they don’t feel that they have the qualities required of a leader. Let me just say that although it is evident that some have a greater capacity for leadership than others, lack of skill does not absolve us from responsibility. Just ask Moses. He tried to tell God that he wasn’t skilled enough to lead the Children of Israel out of Egypt, but God set him straight.
“And Moses said unto the LORD, O my LORD, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.
And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.” (Exodus 4:10-12)
My friends, God specializes in using those who are most unusable. Consider this: God will often give a man a task, than make it impossible for him to fulfill so that when it happens he gets all the glory! You may not feel prepared to lead, but if you are a man (especially a husband and father) you are called to do so. Seek the Lord for the grace to accomplish this task.
As you can see we as men have a huge responsibility. As we study this solemn duty in greater detail in the following chapters, I urge you to consider what I have to say and search the Scriptures to see whether my conclusions are sound.

Men of Valor

Men Of Valor

By Andrew Gommesen

To Andrea—
May you one day find your
Man of Valor




Introduction

How many of you have received a gift for Christmas or your Birthday and then had the giver say to you “Take good care of that, I worked very hard on it”, or maybe “That would be hard to replace, be careful with it.” I know I have.
If you are anything like me, the scenario often plays out something like this. The special gift is given, the giver’s entreaty made, followed an emphatic promise to fulfill the wishes of the giver. At first the new keyboard is neat, you can’t imagine a day going by where you wouldn’t “tickle the ivories,” lightly dust the keys, and put it away in a proper place.
Unfortunately, the novelty quickly wears off. The keyboard now lacks its initial luster. Though you once played it every day, it gets stuck on a shelf somewhere and you forget about it. You only discover it when you do your spring-cleaning. You get excited again, pull it out, blow six inches of dust off of it, and try to play it again only to discover that two of the keys stick and one is broken off.
It is very interesting how something that was once so precious to us can become an afterthought. The time and effort that our loved one put into it is wasted. We hope and pray that they don’t ask about it, and when they do we try to quickly change the subject or simply hang our heads in shame.
I believe that God has given men a great gift which is of far greater value than a keyboard. As a matter of fact “her price is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:1) One of the best earthly gifts God has given to men is the gift of women.
When God finished creating Adam, he brought all the animals to him so that he could name them. These animals were no doubt friendly with Adam. But none of these animals could adequately fill the roll of “helpmeet” for him. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18, 20)
The chapter goes on to explain God’s solution to the problem and Adam’s grateful exultation of God’s faithfulness in meeting his need. “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.“ (Verses 21-23)
Women are very precious and fragile. The Apostle Peter refers to them as a “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7) There was a time when men were quick to embrace their duty to protect the precious gift of womanhood. “Woman and children first” was the rallying cry of the men of valor aboard the Titanic in April 1912.
Almost 100 years later few vestiges of such valor remain. Men are classified as either stupid pushovers or dictatorial tyrants. I’d like to be able to say that these are totally groundless stereotypes but I cannot. Men have dropped the ball. The “weaker vessel” of womanhood has been damaged. The results are seen everywhere from the rise of the stay-at-home dad, to the women who put their lives on the line in the service of the Armed forces.
Men have been given a great gift in women, and with that gift come great responsibility. We must care for, protect, and defend the women in our lives. The consequences of failing to do so are far greater than failing to dust the keys off a keyboard regularly. We have been charged with preserving and protecting a valuable part of the Bride of Christ. We must be men of valor. Join me on the following pages as we discuss how to do this and the ramifications of our failure to do so.
As I close this introduction, I would like to say a few words to the ladies who may be reading. First of all, thank you. I hope the thoughts and ideas contained in these pages will be an encouragement to you—to those praying for husbands as well as those who are praying for those you already have.

Note: These next few weeks I will be posting chapters of my book. If you have any ideas fo publication let me know. Thoughts and comments are always welcome!

changes

The more life changes the more it stays the same. I know it's an overused phrase, but it is also true. I hope that as you read this blog you will be blessed by what I have writtten. For those who are familier with my blog, the name has been changed, but the content is still the same strong thought provoking matierial I am committed to sharing. (I hope) Comments are welcome!

Dear Friends

I am writing this note to let you know that I am stepping out in faith and am lauching my personal ministry. It is me desire to exhort believers to continue steadfast in the faith. If you know of anyone who could use a speaker to encourage children, youth, or families, please let them know that I am taking speaking engagements.

Please continue to pray that I would find a job as my desire is to be a tentmaker. Pray the God will open doors for me to share His Word. Pray also as I complete my first book which should be out soon!

Keep Serving the Best of Masters,

Andrew Gommesen

To Contact me call: 616-262-7258

Strength In Numbers

Have you ever considered that the reason that the Children of Israel struck fear into the Pharoah's heart was because they had many children? "And the children of Israel were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the land was filled with them. Now there arose up a new king over Egypt, which knew not Joseph. And he said unto his people, Behold, the people of the children of Israel are more and mightier than we: Come on, let us deal wisely with them; lest they multiply, and it come to pass, that, when there falleth out any war, they join also unto our enemies, and fight against us, and so get them up out of the land." Exodus 1:7-10

If this was the case then imagine what would happen if Christians would start having more children. How exciting would it be if we could "scare" the word by raising multitudes of godly children. We need to view children as a blessing, rather than a commodity we embrace only when it is convenient! Think about it.

So Sad!

I enjoyed president Bush's acceptance speech at the republican National Convention and am proud that he is my Commander in Chief. However one thing he said last night filled me with sorrow. He said that 2/3 of all mothers work outside the home, and he said it as if it were a matter of pride.

The sad fact of the matter is, we have dropped the ball. We have allowed the world to tell us that women must work outside the home to find themselves. God gave parents (especially moms) the privilege to raise and teach their children. Instead, we are losing our families. Best case scenario--mothers are missing out on some of the most important milestones in their lives. (first words, first steps, etc) Don't let this happen to you!

Welcome!

Welcome to my web sight. I hope it will be a great encouragement to you. It is intended to encourage woman who stay at home with their children as God intended and the men who are man enough to allow them to do so!

My passion

Restoring Respect for Biblical Motherhood
By Andrew Gommesen

“What do you do for a living?” “What are your plans for the future?”
These questions are common enough, but one group in recent years has dreaded these questions, because if they were to answer them honestly, they are afraid of the reaction they will receive. We need to restore respect for biblical motherhood.
There was a time when they were respected. Women were expected to be homemakers, and the abundance of children was considered a blessing on the woman's life. Consider the biblical account of Rachel and Leah.
When Leah conceived the first time, and bear her oldest son Ruben she said
“Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction.”1 She viewed her son as a blessing from God, given to comfort her because Jacob favored Rachel over her.
God gave Leah six children before Rachel (herself or by her maid) because she was hated. Even though she had already had five children previously, she still responded, “Now will I praise the LORD:” It was very humiliating for Rachel to be baron. She reached the point where she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die.”2 From there family chaos ensued as the sisters used their maidservants to aid in their childbearing competition.
I am not in any way saying that this was right; I am only trying to point out the importance that was placed on having children at that time. If you backtrack slightly in the story, you will find that Leah believed that if she had children, Jacob would love her. No doubt Rachel felt that having children would increase his attentions to her as well.
So why are motherhood and childbearing, once considered the crown jewels of a woman's achievements, now relegated to the back burner? The reason is summed up well in the following statements found in the statement of purpose of the National Organization for Women.
With a life span lengthened to nearly 75 years it is no longer either necessary or possible for women to devote the greater part of their lives to child- rearing; yet childbearing and rearing which continues to be a most important part of most women's lives -- still is used to justify barring women from equal professional and economic participation and advance.
Today's technology has reduced most of the productive chores which women once performed in the home and in mass-production industries based upon routine unskilled labor.
This same technology has virtually eliminated the quality of muscular strength as a criterion for filling most jobs, while intensifying American industry's need for creative intelligence. In view of this new industrial revolution created by automation in the mid twentieth century, women can and must participate in old and new fields of society in full equality -- or become permanent outsiders.3
Though the statement was published in 1966, it reads like today's headlines. It acknowledges that children are a part of a woman's life, but gives them a very small part and treats them as accomplishments, rather than people who need care.
Those involved with NOW have not backed down in the least from the statement. They continue to state on their web site, "One of NOW's strongest concerns is gaining recognition of the value of women's work, both in the home and the paid labor market.”4
The people of NOW are missing something very important. When
God set up the roles of men and women in the beginning of time, he wasn't just thinking about the physical tasks which each role entailed, he was thinking about the teaching responsibilities that each would assume.
He gave women the privilege of staying at home with their children so that they could invest their time wisely in their lives. The most important thing is not how fast we can accomplish physical tasks like doing the dishes and cooking; it is the ability to be available to be a listening ear and a teaching influence.
NOW's position as stated above that advances in technology have afforded the woman time and opportunity to pursue careers outside the home, is one of the main reasons why people only have one or two children today. They wouldn't have time for more, because as much as they like to deny it, their work is their priority. This philosophy is also one of the reasons we have rebellious, troublemaking kids. They deeply desire the attention of their mothers, and will do anything to get it.
Mothers need to be involved in their children's lives. Contrary to what NOW says, it's about quality / quantity time, not just quality. This is a very important point. If none of my other arguments stick, I hope this one does. Children desperately need acceptance and love from their parents.
Unfortunately, Christian women have adopted views similar to their secular counterparts. They make excuses such as, “With today's financial demands on the family it is extremely hard for two parents to make ends meet.”5 However, if they were to examine the extra costs incurred by a working wife, (i.e. extra car, day care, etc.) and the luxuries that they consider needs, (i.e. a big screen TV, cable, a second or brand-new car, or a new house) they would probably find that they could handle living on one income.
For most people, two incomes are not needed to make ends meet; they are simply a way to keep up with the Jones's. They want to look good to people, so they reject God's blessing of children for the material blessings of this life. Many times a woman will say that after she and her husband have advanced in career or education, they will begin or add to their families.
You may be thinking, Motherhood is respected. What is this guy talking about? But many would look down on a woman who said, "I want to be a mother," or "I am a mother." Such people believe that only a person incapable of succeeding in any other career would choose motherhood as their chief occupation. This must change.
I am not saying that every woman must get married and bear children.
However, I believe the God has made it clear that generally this is his desire.
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” 6
Mary LaGrand Bouma says that if women leave their jobs as clerks, doctors, salespeople, and other outside jobs, "the world will go on smoothly as before." However, she says that if women give up motherhood for jobs in the outside world, the home will "falter and lose its way." 7
It is also physically healthy to have children. The younger a women is
when she has her first full-term pregnancy; the lower their risk of breast cancer. Each subsequent full-term pregnancy lowers the risk by about 5%. Breast-feeding also lowers the risk.
The question that immediately comes up is “What should the single women do?” Many mothers desperately wish that they had someone to come and help them keep house or care for the children so that they can have a much-needed break. It is very hard for mothers with their own family responsibilities to meet this need for others adequately.
On the other hand, the single woman has a great opportunity to help in such cases, due to the fact that she is not bound by personal responsibility in this area. As one mom put it, she believes in teaching her children that
“The girls will grow up to be keepers of their home, married or not.”8
Married women would be much more prone to fully embrace their God-given roles as wives and mothers if those who were single would take this to heart. As they do, they are fulfilling God's mandate to be keepers at home, even though they are single. Homemaking is not an inferior profession. It is a God-given role.
God says that to be given children is a special gift from Lord. It is a reward. “…The fruit of the womb is his reward.”9 It is not, as some believe, a hindrance to the potential of a woman, but rather a fulfillment of that potential.
The modern-day feminist movement seems bent on the idea that a woman can’t make as big an impact on the world as homemakers as they can in the business world. What many have failed to realize is that there is quite possibly no greater sphere of influence than the one which mothers have.
Many great men attribute successes in their lives to the love of a devoted mother. Consider the words of William McKinley, former president of the United States, who said that in the midst of his rebellious younger years, “…My dear mother would always be there on the sofa, praying to God to save her son. .... And here I stand today, saved by the blood of the crucified one.”10
There is no other role in life to be sought that affords the possibility of literally molding and teaching children from the beginning to impact their world for the Lord. As mothers equip and send their children out into active service for the King, they have the possibility of impacting millions of people, just because they were willing to nurture their children in God’s ways. An entire family tree can be altered by one woman’s humble example.
I myself (at least in part) owe my salvation to the influence of a Godly mother. I also owe a lot of my other wise decisions to the fact that my mother has stayed in the home, and has been available for me to discuss things with. I am not trying to minimize the importance of fathers. I am merely exhorting mothers to realize the extent of influence which the role
God has given them allows them to have.
Because mothers are home with their children, they have more time with them, than fathers who are working to earn a living. This should be viewed as a unique blessing, not a curse.
It is very important that Christian women realize that they are examples to the world. When the world sees a woman compromising on these things, they feel all the more justified in their extreme views. It is time we return to an era where it is not only acceptable, but praised when a woman states her occupation as “a full-time mother of five” rather than an accountant who has two children.
After all, “Motherhood is not a romanticized ideal, but rather a God-given task suited to a woman's nature, and accomplished joyfully by hard work through His grace and provision.” I pray that we all take this to heart, and restore respect for biblical motherhood!11

(bibliography avalible upon requst)